So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
