the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
