just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
