Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
