Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
