I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
