Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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