Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
