At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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