i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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