Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
