: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
