i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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