hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
