I'm jealous of your bromance
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
