can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize