I think i peed on brittanys purse
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
