It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
