your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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