it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
