I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
