so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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