He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
