i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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