so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
