He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
