Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
