; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
