Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Randomize
