Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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