I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
