i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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