You can't special order awesome
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
