Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
