I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
