we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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