As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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