yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
