i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
