we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize