I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
