Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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