Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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