How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
