i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
