I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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