Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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