When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
