I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
