Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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