Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
