i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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