How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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