pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
