I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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