Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
