i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
