So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
