i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love having hate sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
