Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
