Banned from zoo.
Again?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
