Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
