what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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