You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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