the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
