Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
