party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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