I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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