Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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