I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
