At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
