Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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