Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
