his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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