Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
