a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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